She picked up the phone and called the lover
"I don't feel well..."
"Can you come and hug me. And make me feel loved?"
"Im with a friend let me call you later."
She was sad and angry with herself that again she couldn't say what actually she wanted to say.
She texted to the ex lover. Either there was no reply or a really superficial one. There was a reason he is an ex anyway.
Now she is both sad, ashamed and more angry with herself.
And then she called the lover again with a feeling;
"Why he is not the one calling after I told him I dont feel well?"
And yet she couldn't find the right answers for herself. But she is sure that she is asking the right questions.